Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Guest Post: Tim.

Hi All, my beautiful wife has asked me several times to guest blog and I always deny. Well, tonight she left the computer on and logged in to Blogger so I decided to go on a little rant. It was after a particularly rough day at soccer practice for our daughter where I observed idiot after idiot after idiot parading around the sidelines. I also had a five hour energy today and possibly a little too much alcohol this evening. All in all, the perfect storm. Here we go:

We all have those friends in our lives, those friends that are complete idiots! Complete and total nincompoops! Sometimes they are friends and sometimes they are just acquaintances and sometimes they are family, but we all have them. Complete idiots! You know the ones I am talking about don't you? They are the ones talking on their cell phones in restaurants like they are so important. "Oh, I'm so important I better take this call right now or the whole world might explode!" Or Mr. ipad guy, this fucking idiot who walks around in public with his stupid fucking ipad "researching shit" or "taking pictures" with a camera the size of his head. Hey guess what jackass, they make cameras a lot smaller than that these days. Idiot!!! If you ever have an ipad in public other than the airport or an airplane you should be water boarded!


Then there are those friends who think they are something they are not. They think they are so funny or so smart or so prestigious or so attractive. The funniest thing about these people is they are actually anything but what they think they are. The "swanky" person is usually some wanker that was raised middle class and now thinks they are hot shit and have risen above those lowly middle class folks. The "attractive" one is typically alright looking, but with one major flaw, like a pizza face or a huge ass. The confident ones usually have no right to be so confident. The "funny" one is usually a
fricking moron who no one gets their jokes and everyone sympathy laughs at. The "smart" one is usually just pathetic and someone you just feel sorry for!

Why do these people exist? I have no idea but my life would be much more boring without them. I seem to be surrounded by COMPLETE FUCKING MORONS!!!!! Everywhere I go I see people that just make me shake my head and be more thankful for the loved ones in my life that don't fit this bill. There are probably people that will read this blog and think "wow, I'm glad I'm not one of those people he is describing." Let me tell you, there is probably a 50/50 chance you are one of those
people. If you think you are not, you probably are. That is just how you people think. Stupid dip shits! The ones that actually take a moment to self reflect and think about this, trust me, you are probably not as described above.

There are a few people I cherish in my life and sane, level headed, down to earth, normal, self-deprecating, real are some words to describe those. Only about 20% of the people I know fit this description. The other 80%? Refer to the four paragraphs above. I sometimes wonder if I am this person described above to other people. Maybe people look at me and think I think I am hot shit. If so, oh well. Fuck em'! They are probably just complete and total fucking idiots anyways!


Grumpy ol' man!

P.S. This will teach you not to forget to log out when you are done! Ha!

1 comment:

  1. Did you know that an ipad doubles for a serving tray. First person to bring that man a beer gets taken off the 80% list!