Friday, January 16, 2015

Striving For 10%.

This week I've been quiet here in this space because I've been working through some self-discovery/awareness type stuff. I needed time to endure the whole process starting with a rude awakening, trudging through self-loathing/self-pity, pacified by the sweet peace of healing and completing the exercise by putting myself into action, ready for change.
Here is my realization: I am a 90% person. When I work on a project, I give a hell of a 90%. I give 100% towards my 90%. There are so very many projects I have given 90% towards, the finish work is all that always remains. But that finish work? It isn't a very big deal in terms of little projects around the property I've not quite completed, but when the projects stack up and so many projects are left incomplete it become paralyzing. There are however, bigger life projects when only completed to 90% affects you in more negative, naggy, ripple-effect type ways. Here is where the awakening comes...when someone who really knows you can list your 90% success/failures in a long-ish string of almost accomplishments. Button Flowers...Ruffle Purses...Comic Strip Wallets...Leather Jewelry...Creative Art Space...Finishing my 5th year and updating my teaching credential (the catalyst in this exercise of self-discovery).
So what to do, what to do. Moved into action, I made a list yesterday called "The Final 10%" AND I finished the first project on my list. It felt so good. Meanwhile poor old Goo didn't have his mamma's attention and peed his pants twice (poor guy was humiliated and crushed), which means I was super distracted because he never has accidents so then I had one of those AH HA moments as to why I am a 90%er and here is where I give myself a little grace...this is perhaps the best time in my life to give a great big 90% to anything that isn't Savannah, Ivy or Grady.

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